Preview: The Godfather�s Revenge
The 3 D Invitational will continue
Madison Rayne vs. Awesome Kong (Stretcher Match)
Abyss vs. Cody Deaner (Cody can use weapons)
Last week, Jeff Jarrett says he will fire Mick Foaly
Who knows what�ll happen with Lashley
Kevin Nash & Booker T vs. AJ Styles and Samoa Joe
The show starts with JJ walking away from a meeting ticked off. Hmm I wonder why? JB asks what the Mick Foaly situation, and Jeff walks away with a, �No comment�. Foaly comes out and explains that not only is he the Executive Shareholder, he�s also the TNA Champion, and Jeff can�t fire him. That�s good news. An untouchable Mick Foaly. Next week the ring will probably be made of tacks.
The MEM comes out to the ring, all but Sting. Kurt starts on a rant about how he�s the Godfather and he�s in charge, and brings it back to respect. And he�s coming for Mick. He makes Jeff the offer that if he�s in the Four Way Match at Sacrifice, whoever pins him will become the Godfather of the Mafia. Please Sting save us!!! He then informs Foaly that Kurt�s going to take over his office and his job tonight. Back to Mick and JB, who asks Mick about what Kurt just said, who responds (Being Mick Foaly of course) What�d Kurt say? What? A takeover?!? Jeff comes in and wants to kick Mick�s [ beep ]. He says normally he could handle Kurt, but he has 25 stitches above his eye and can�t see well, and then Mick asks him to watch his back tonight. Wow. I didn�t think Foaly could seem any stupider after the �Cactus Jack Smack Attack�, but I was wrong.
We come back to the Mafia and Lauren. Not paying attention until Scott Steiner comes in and says he wants Jarrett. Kurt says that he needs Scott tonight. Guess that�s the end of that discussion.
MATCH 1: 3 D Invitational. Motor City Machineguns vs. Amazing Red and Suicide.
Wait who? Apparently some guy in TNA 5 years ago. Whatever. I know the Guns are in it, and that�s good enough because I love watching these guys wrestle. Fast paced, tag team action.
Someone make this match happen. Ultimate X: MMG vs. London and Kendrick vs. Kofi and Evan Bourne vs. Speed Muscle. AWESOME.
Anywho, Beer Money and the team of Eric Young and Trevor Murdoch both advance in the tournament. Shelly and Red start off. Lock up, a few counters, then Red hit�s a jumping arm drag off the ropes. Okay starting to like him. Red does a hurricurana and Suicide comes in. Leg drop and a Gorilla press to Shelly. Red comes back in and gets leapfrogged to the corner, and then takes a double MMG kick to the head. Sabin�s in, and we see some sweet double team from the guns, including a double dropkick with Red in the Tree of woe and some crazy flipping. Sabin has Red in an octopus stretch, and after some failed move, Red does some crazy double flipping neckdrop, and it looked sweet. Suicide comes in and does a double rolling somoan drop to the guns, one grounded, then slamming the other on top. MMG pulls some kicks to Suicide, then Red comes in and does a modified spinning power bomb. It was weird, in a good way, and he took out Sabin. Suicide Solution on Shelly for the win, and then disappears.
Winners: Amazing Red & Suicide.
Overall a really good opening match. Fast paced, with a returning TNA alumni. I do love the X Division though.
Match Rating: 8/10
Angle Promo.
We come back to the Beautiful People. Shoot me in the head. They may be hot, but just too dumb for me. Knowing them they�ll prove me right. Lauren says that on paper, Rayne doesn�t have a chance against Kong. And on cue, the brainless blonde comes in, Love since there are three of them, and makes a speech that would make a idiot cry, mentioning that on paper Lee (civil war general) was supposed to invade Poland (WW2, oh and not even in the US), and that Steve O was supposed to win Idol. I have nothing more to say, partly because my IQ took a big dip watching that. I need the break to recover.
Abyss promo.
Then we see Abyss and Lauren talking about his match, where his opponent can use weapons and he can�t, because that will help him get over his use of weapons. Ya, a coma would do that to someone. Billy Bob Thorton and ODB come out, and The Ultimate Redneck starts trash talking Abyss. I think he�s been hanging around the Beautiful People. Stupid really is contagious. The most exciting part of that was ODB�s hair.
More Angle promos.
Foaly is trying to recruit the Guns to help him. Talking about his stitches. The guns say they have bigger issues, but Foaly wants to help. They want to know who Suicide is, and he tells them its Al Snow. Stupid is a bigger issue in TNA than Swine Flu right now.
Match 2: 3 D Invitational. Homicide vs. Doug Williams & Brutus Magnus.
Hernandez gets taken out backstage by the British Alliance or whatever they�re called. I don�t like them. Anyway, so it�s a handicap match. Predictable, with Homicide getting a few good spots. What is TNA�s deal with death? Homicide, Suicide, Jay Lethal.
Winners: Williams and Magnus.
Not really interesting, and again, predictable.
Match Rating: 4/10. Dragged on way too long when we knew the outcome.
More damn Angle promos. Please no more. Please Dixie help me.
Match 3: Stretcher Match. Madison Rayne vs. Awesome Kong
Rudy Charles clears the arena to make it a fair match. HA!!! Kong does a choke slam, clothesline, puts her on the stretcher, 6 count, pulls her off, Implant Buster. 7 count, Kong pulls her off again, Awesome Bomb. The crowd chants for one more, and she obliges. 10 count and this is over.
Winner: Awesome Kong (who would�ve guessed?)
Match Rating: 5/10. It was short, so that�s why its higher than the last one.
The Beautiful People freak out over Rayne and call for help. As medical professionals are taking her out on a stretcher. As they are headed to an Ambulance. Idiots.
Promo. Please no Kurt, no Kurt. YES!!! Nash!!! No�damn you Dixie. It�s a MEM promo. So Kurt�s still there.
The Motor City Machineguns are back out, and they say they know who Suicide is. Al Snow? No, they call out Christopher Daniels. Close guns, about two weeks ago you would�ve been right. They rant about him getting fired (twice actually), him on the Indy circuit, and how much he wanted to get back to TNA. Shelly says that they have the same build. Then�he actually said this�I mean come on Daniels that [ beep ] is unmistakable. Dear god. There�s something you�ll never hear in the WWE. Eventually, Chris gets tired of this and lays a beat down on the guns. They run out, and we go to the back where�
Mick Foaly is now back talking to Samoa �Taz 2.0� Joe. Yes Mick we know you have stitches, please shut up about them. After his plea, Joe just walks away, and Mick says he needs to go to plan C.
Match 4: Cody Deaner w/ ODB vs. Abyss (Cody can use weapons)
Okay so Jeff Gordon grabs a tray and hits Abyss in the head. Nothing. Then Billy Bob grabs a trash can lid and repeats. Blood, and laughter. Cody gets a Kendo stick, but Abyss grabs it. He thinks about using it, then chops him across the chest. He crawls to ODB who dumps the contents of her flask in his mouth. Yes. That�s TNA right there. He sprays whatever drink it is in Abyss�s face and hits him twice with the garbage can, with Abyss now on the ropes. Kendo stick to the head and Abyss goes down!!! Oh no he didn�t he�s still up. He hits him about 8 more times and Abyss is still up. Deaner grabs a chair and finally floors Abyss. Then�he takes a wrench�out of his phanypack. What the hell. He tries to hit Abyss, and runs into a Black Hole Slam.
Winner: Abyss
Decent match, some hardcore moments. The most hardcore was still probably ODB�s hair. It was a good looking slam for the win. Really funny too.
Match Rating: 6/10
And now�ANOTHER DAMN KURT ANGLE / MEM PROMO!!!!!
Lauren is now interviewing Daphnie, another of Dr. Stevie�s Patients. Blah blah, she has a thing for Abyss. Okay, the crazy emo nut job I can understand, but Lauren? Come on.
JB is in the back with the Mafia. It�s boring, the women were arguing, and Angle was the voice of reason.
Matt M m m m m organ is now out roid raging. Anyone remember the stutter he had in WWE? He wants in the Mafia.
So now maybe we can have an actual match�no its another interview. AJ and Lauren. AJ says he doesn�t want the nation of violence, he wants the Samoan Submission Machine. He doesn�t know if he can trust him. How many interviews am I supposed to sit through? It�s a two hour show, there are five matches.
Rhino and his soldier friend promo. Why not? Sum up, Rhino�s training the guy, apparently has tourettes, but calls it tough love.
Match 5: Kevin Nash & Booker T vs. AJ Styles & Samoa Joe.
Oh yeah, we have matches. Joe doesn�t come out. Booker and AJ start, trade armbars, AJ dropkicks. Nash in, and gets trapped in the corner. AJ punches and spears, then Kevin powers out. Puts AJ on the turnbuckle, who puts Kevin in a sleeper. Booker comes in, Aj clotheslines, takes Booker out, flying forearm to Nash. Joe comes out.
Back with Booker in control. Double team on AJ, Joe comes in and takes Book and Nash down. Dropkicks Nash, and they both go outside the ring. Booker hits AJ with the Legends Championship. Pin.
Winners: Booker T & Kevin Nash
Match Rating: 7/10
Mick�s talking to someone who headlined Wrestlemania about his stitches, and tells them to get Angle when he says now.
Guess what? Yep another MEM promo.
Angle comes into the office. Foaly says �now� to no avail. Mick asks why are you so angry? So Mick negotiates with Kurt to let him hit him with something to make them even. One chair shot. No guitar shot. No thats JJ s call for a chair. It was weird, and also funny. Watch the TNA replay at the end to see it. So while on the phone, Foaly hits Kurt with the phone. He goes to the closet where the mystery headliner was supposed to be. He opens it, and there are golf clubs in there. What? Oh. Foaly pulls a sock off of one of them, and its Mr. Socko. The lights go out, and someone in a skull hoodie hits Foaly with a chair. Unzips the hoodie, and its Sting. Huh?
So that�s my first report. It was an�interesting show. Too many promos, not enough matches. And three of them were squashes. But some cool twists. Damn I�m out of words. So I�m out.
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